“A
valiant knight once lived in the dark ages. Motivated by his need for knowledge
in martial arts, the sciences and the opposite sex, the brave knight Sir
Humpalot sailed from his homeland to take on his biggest challenge yet, the
quest to understand women. The brave knight Sir Humpalot arrived in the foreign
lands of South Africa after 6000 years on intense sailing abroad the
“Booga-Booga 104.” Sir Humpalot known in his homeland for bravery and courage
decided do an experiment. He walked up to the Casanova of South Africa (a round
looking man with a belly and no hair known only as “The Spear”) and said to him
“how art thou on this fine day old pimp” The Spear replied and light
conversation followed. Feeling brave and smarter with the wisdom he had gained
from The Spear, Sir Humpalot spurred on by his need for knowledge and
understanding decided to do the same act with the local strumpets he embarked
on a journey to find the sluttiest of them all and upon finding her walked up
to her and in a moment of complete braveness or stupidity he uttered the words
“ how art thou on this fine day young whore?” she transformed into a naked
ninja beat him until the valiant knight Sir Humpalot was no more.”
Legend has it men
have not tried to understand women since the fall of Sir Humpalot and for good
reason! I don’t want to be on the wrong side of a naked ninja beating (they do
that trust me just you make one mad enough they turn into naked ninjas!) I mean
what am I compared to the legendary Sir Humpalot? You will not win why would
you try to understand a species that has convinced themselves over 100s of
years that painting their nails a different color enhances their looks in
anyway?
I had an interesting dream last night in which I was being
chased down by 2 angry monsters for no reason. I could have taken them on using
my super strength but why would I want to mess up such good looks on fighting
monsters (I’m lying I was scared so I ran). The terrible twin monsters were
furious and I was destined to meet my demise as I was about to get caught by
the angry monster out came a hero from nowhere the public protector Thuli
Madonsela (because angry women turn into ninjas) she super kicked the green and
red monster away. The monsters aggrieved with fury went and fetched the
ultimate monster their father Bheki Cele. The ultimate monster walked up to me
with his stomach in and chest out but he too was no match for the naked ninja
Thuli. After being battered and beaten by the ninja the monsters finally ran
away and were never seen again. At which point I woke up and realized my dream
wasn’t completely a dream but had a bit of reality in it. Thuli is finally
winning against bheki Cele with the suspened police commissioner likely to be
fired soon. The greatest revelation of my dream though was the fact that Shrek
and Rooney (the dreadful monsters) are actually brothers and Bheki Cele is
their father!
SKA is coming to South Africa all I know is that it is going to be the biggest satellite or telescope (I don’t know which one) in the world. I don’t know what it does or who it is for just that it is a good thing for South Africa and will create jobs and all that other good stuff everybody wants so kudos to the people who ensured we get it. Who knows maybe having a huge satellite/telescope will aid in getting alien help in understanding why women paint their nails.
A little interesting fact the name google is derived from the word googol a mathematical term for a number 1 followed by a 100 zeros. the founders named it this because they wanted to give people access to unlimited info on one page...objective achieved boys
That's all for today until next time (if I don't get gobbled up by green monsters or ninjas). Enjoy the rest of the week.
Follow me on Twitter @The_Don_maphz
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