Today is a Sunday I know this because yesterday was a Saturday
and tomorrow is a Monday. I have no issue with Mondays but tomorrow is a
special Monday one which will be removed from my memory before it even happens,
unless a huge comet hits Poland and Ukraine, and wipes out everything John
Terry and Samir Nasri. France play England at Euro2012 tomorrow in a match
involving two of the biggest douche-bags in world football I think I will be
supporting the ref unless if the ref is Howard Webb which will lead to me admiring
the greenness of the grass and blueness of the sky.
It’s been a while since I was here and a lot has happened
since then. A hundred and nine, nine year olds got pregnant (do not ask him how
because not even the smartest politician could tell you how that is possible),
the fat lady who works for the DA told Zuma to quit, Bheki Cele was officially
fired and John Terry was arrested for racism and inducted into the Adolf Hitler
hall of fame for being a cunt and racist. The award involves being poked with needles
every minute of the day (wishful thinking I know but you never know weirder things
have happened). As for the 9 year olds who are getting pregnant one can only
presume they are getting raped because clearly they aren’t old enough to know
what the booga-booga is. Here is an idea to fight unemployment let’s take all
uneducated people and teach them how to dig holes and throw everybody who is
turned on by babies inside, we can call the project “Holes for Dicks.” We can dig all this holes in Limpopo it is a bit
of a useless province anyway considering the only thing that’s ever come out of
there is Julius. Unemployment solved. No more pregnant babies. Limpopo actually
contributes (if I carry on providing solutions like this all of you should
really consider making me president).
As for Lindi attacking Zuma honestly this feud between the
DA is played out I personally am bored of it. It was entertaining in the
beginning when we all thought it would end up with Zuma and The madam hooking
up but now it’s just boring. It’s kind of like having a 24 hour porn marathon
with your mates it would be entertaining for the first hour maybe after that
you would get sick of it unless of course you are a sick individual in which
case you probably belong in a hole in Limpopo. If these two clowns really cared
about the everyday man they would work together until election time instead of
arguing about what after shave Helen should use or which hair products Zuma
doesn’t use.
The Springbulls played their 1st match under
Heineken Meyer yesterday. They won and to everybody’s surprise they weren’t
wearing pink. Zane Kirchner is still very good at playing touch rugby instead
of tackle, Pier Spies is still a passenger, Bryan Habana is still the best wing
in this country, John Terry is still a cunt who fucks team mates wives and
hates black people and the pomies still can’t win a game against the bulls
boks.
That's all for this week lads because I have a twitter account and a facebook profile I now have the right to be a philosopher so here is a little quote I read somewhere earlier in the week
"Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition man is the only being who knows he is alone"- Octavio Paz. hence why we can dig holes and throw rapist insides so they can spend eternity in misery alone.
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