You are sitting at home watching an episode of Ed, Edd and
Eddy to a bowl of coco pops and banana juice wearing your favorite Pinky and
the Brain boxers. All of a sudden a R203 million cheque flies in from the
heavens through your window because god loves you and wants you to
#WhatCouldYouDoWith203M
lets crunch the numbers you know because we all just love our calculators and
doing math. A decent primary school costs about R7000 a year multiply that by 7
years and you get 49k. A top of the range semi-private school (e.g. Glenwood,
Westville, DHS) costs about 40K a year using a lot of complicated logarithms
and computational mathematics you get 200k for a total of 5 years. The top
university in Africa costs about 92K a year for the average student (including
a decent laptop, printing fees, internet etc.) multiply that by 4 for the
average degree and you get 368k. This all yields a total of around 620k. What
do all these numbers mean? It means for the same amount of tax payers money
used to build the presidential cunt’s royal home I could take 330 students and
give them the very best education this country has to offer at no cost to the
parents. It means I could fund 330 new engineers for the country or 330 new
accountants or 330 new physicists…you get the point.
#WhatElseCouldIDoWith203M Poverty: a chicken and mayo sandwich
costs around R14 add in a small fruit juice for R7. Now hungry people love
chicken and mayo sandwiches with banana juice, because we love hungry people so
much we are going to buy them more chicken at nandos for dinner quarter chicken
and chips special for R36. Since we are busy giving these hungry bustards free
lunch and dinner lets give them a box of coco pops and milk for breakfast as
well at a combined R50. What this means
is I could give 1897196 hungry people good food for a day (top of the range
good food at that)
What is the point of all these numbers? Simple the president
is fucking us! He might as well walk into our houses with baby oil and durex
lub bend us over and hook us up from behind! R203 mill? Wait let me rewrite
that for you R203 000 000! R203x106! I could pay for a lot of lap
dances for my friend who loves strippers with that kind of tax payer’s money. I
could pay for a life’s time subscription to Ed, Edd and Eddy comic books (doesn’t
the president know Ed, Edd and Eddy is the absolute shit!).
The excuse given by Mac Maharaj the president’s official
bitch spokesman was that its necessary for the presidents visitors and a
lot of other nonsense. Which brings me to my next point why don’t we have our
equivalent of the white house? If every president who comes in decides to build
a R203 000 000 mansion when they take over we are in for a serious screwing
over. Let’s build one house owned by the state where the guy stays and conducts all his presidential screwing over business while he is
president, as soon as his term is over we send him back to where ever he came
from in a taxi and let the next guy move in.
A word to you Mr. President next time you decide to spend so
much of our money on yourself how about you buy us some red wine and dinner you
know because we all like to get wined and dined before we get fucked!
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