Sunday 7 October 2012

#WhatYouCouldDoWith203M



You are sitting at home watching an episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy to a bowl of coco pops and banana juice wearing your favorite Pinky and the Brain boxers. All of a sudden a R203 million cheque flies in from the heavens through your window because god loves you and wants you to build a mansion in your rural home be happy.

 #WhatCouldYouDoWith203M lets crunch the numbers you know because we all just love our calculators and doing math. A decent primary school costs about R7000 a year multiply that by 7 years and you get 49k. A top of the range semi-private school (e.g. Glenwood, Westville, DHS) costs about 40K a year using a lot of complicated logarithms and computational mathematics you get 200k for a total of 5 years. The top university in Africa costs about 92K a year for the average student (including a decent laptop, printing fees, internet etc.) multiply that by 4 for the average degree and you get 368k. This all yields a total of around 620k. What do all these numbers mean? It means for the same amount of tax payers money used to build the presidential cunt’s royal home I could take 330 students and give them the very best education this country has to offer at no cost to the parents. It means I could fund 330 new engineers for the country or 330 new accountants or 330 new physicists…you get the point.

#WhatElseCouldIDoWith203M Poverty: a chicken and mayo sandwich costs around R14 add in a small fruit juice for R7. Now hungry people love chicken and mayo sandwiches with banana juice, because we love hungry people so much we are going to buy them more chicken at nandos for dinner quarter chicken and chips special for R36. Since we are busy giving these hungry bustards free lunch and dinner lets give them a box of coco pops and milk for breakfast as well at a combined R50.  What this means is I could give 1897196 hungry people good food for a day (top of the range good food at that) 

What is the point of all these numbers? Simple the president is fucking us! He might as well walk into our houses with baby oil and durex lub bend us over and hook us up from behind! R203 mill? Wait let me rewrite that for you R203 000 000! R203x106! I could pay for a lot of lap dances for my friend who loves strippers with that kind of tax payer’s money. I could pay for a life’s time subscription to Ed, Edd and Eddy comic books (doesn’t the president know Ed, Edd and Eddy is the absolute shit!).

The excuse given by Mac Maharaj the president’s official bitch spokesman was that its necessary for the presidents visitors and a lot of other nonsense. Which brings me to my next point why don’t we have our equivalent of the white house? If every president who comes in decides to build a R203 000 000 mansion when they take over we are in for a serious screwing over. Let’s build one house owned by the state where the guy stays and conducts all his presidential screwing over business while he is president, as soon as his term is over we send him back to where ever he came from in a taxi and let the next guy move in.

A word to you Mr. President next time you decide to spend so much of our money on yourself how about you buy us some red wine and dinner you know because we all like to get wined and dined before we get fucked!

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