Letter to Richard

Dear Richard or as you are known around your mates...Dick

First of all I think blond women are beautiful, red hairs are as bad as it gets, I don't care much about Helen Zille, and I think Kim Kardashian is a sloot, Slim Shady is the greatest human to ever live and the rhinos and dogs you care about so much can go fuck themselves.

Secondly Dick I forgave you ancestors for slavery and I forgave your grandparents for apartheid. None of that shit had anything to do with you so there's no resentment towards you from my side, but I'm sick off all your bullshit. I can't take the pretense anymore, in your eyes the two of us aren't equal Dick, your mannerisms annoy me, the covert racism ingrained in you which you don't even realize is there is the reason I'm probably going to end up kicking your ass.

Don't tell me I'm just another black guy being a nuisance Dick. What do you know about people crossing the street every time they are going to walk past you in because they think you are going to mug them? What do you know about having to repeat your name more than once every time you meet someone because they've assumed they can't pronounce it before you've even said it? Maphz it's not even a hard name Dick. What do you know about sitting in group meetings in class with group members who assume they know more than you because you have more melanin than they do? What do you know about sitting in a meeting at work with a group of white people who disregard everything you say as bullshit just because you don't burn in the sun even though you are just as qualified as they are? Stop telling me I speak well Dick it's not a compliment it's a fucking insult because what you are actually thinking is "I never expected this black guy to be able to articulate himself in such an immaculate way." What do you know about having to introduce yourself more than once to the same person because in your head you register all of us as looking the same? I certainly do not look like this guy stop assuming I do.

Tell me Dick were you ever accused of stealing by your white teachers as a 14 year old boy? Proved your innocence and never even got anything resembling an apology? What do you know about having to use your white friend's name to secure a place to live because nobody wants to lease their place out to a black guy? I'm tired of dudes making comments every time they see me chilling with a white female friend of mine, "stop stealing white chicks" who the fuck do they belong too? Do you think we still live slavery times where people are property belonging to other people?

Slim Shady said it: "I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that," if you not willing to do the same Dick I'm giving you an Undertaker-esque Wrestlemania beating.  

Regards

Your favourite Black friend

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@Lord_Maphz