Please read as if you are sober and intelligent. First blog
of the year I trust you all made it into 2013 with all your limbs intact and
have set your resolutions and all that other corny stuff. I have a couple of
those a detailed 3 pages of them actually, but perhaps the most important one
is that I want to stop fucking swearing in this bitch blog.
A lot has happened since I was last here so let’s get right
to it then; ANC went to Mangaung and reelected Jacob of Nkandla as president,
couple of weeks later he then went and hit the world with another one of his
great quotes: “I hope an African team wins the Afcon” the most intelligent
amongst us were baffled by this comment really Mr. Jacob of Nkandla as opposed to
what? Afghanistan?
While the conference was going South Africa’s favorite son
decided to try force a comeback into the spot light Julius Malema wrote a
letter of apology to the ANC asking to be reinstated. I am sure Gwede Mantashe
and Cyril Ramaphosa stuck it on the wall and used it to play darts while laughing
at Kgalime Motlante over buffalo meat and traditional beer before they sent the
official presidential bitch to send a response which read and I quote “fuck
you fat kid hahahahahaha….hahahahahahaha…hahahahahahahaha” (ok I made that up
but you get the point).
Americans: crazy gun
carrying bustards, who eat McDonalds get fat and shoot innocent kids, nothing
new there then? Actually if we teach Lindi “Eat-That” Mazibuko how to use a gun
she would fit right in there. We could hire an old school oil tanker to take
her there (we all know she can’t fit in an airplane) fuck it a ship would
probably sink instantly with all that mass though, so we are stuck with her how
unfortunate the food she eats alone for supper could feed all the striking
farmers in the Western Cape for a month.
In more current shenanigans billionaire tycoon Patrice
Motsepe announced earlier in the week he is giving half of the money generated
by his assets to charity to help the poor erhm just in case he is reading this
I am quite the charity case myself and could use a few extra quid to get myself
an Albanian stripper for my birthday later this month.
I got woken up by a screaming drunk flat mate so I am going
back to bed now this is all I have for you for now. By the way I don’t hate fat
people but they should fucking going to the gym that’s what Chinese people made
bloody gyms for.
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Hahaha this is good shit nicely put.
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